Clinton, South Carolina, Saturday, September 10, 2017, 1:38 p.m.

I can’t imagine a better place to watch a football game than Presbyterian College, that is, if you don’t mind it if the Blue Hose lose.

It’s early yet. Yes, Presbyterian has been been outscored 99-13, but Wake Forest and The Citadel are stiff competition for a liberal-arts school of 1,300 students playing in the lower subdivision of NCAA Division I.

A year ago, Presbyterian hosted four games at beautiful Bailey Memorial Stadium. This year, thanks to the threat of a storm leading The Citadel up to Clinton, eight games will be played here. Campbell visits next week and Cumberland the week after.

It’s almost impossible to park more than 200 yards away. Lovely shade trees abound in the green lots. It’s tailgate-friendly, kids-friendly, and, unfortunately, visiting teams-friendly.

The Citadel is ranked 13^th in the nation, Football Championship Subdivision (FCS), and the state’s military college wore their “Duty” uniforms, which meant lead-gray jerseys and pants and white helmets. The Bulldogs wear white helmets every week, but the jerseys vary from gray to navy to light blue to white. College football has gotten awfully complicated. One cannot reliably walk through the gates of a stadium anymore and be sure he or she can tell which team is which. Some teams wear camouflage jerseys, the ostensible point being they couldn’t be identified at all.

Presbyterian does not play on the road again until November 4. I kid you not. I hope the Blue Hose get better and have a decent year, which the past two were not. On Saturday, they had their moments. At one time, it was only 14-7. The Citadel (2-0) only outgained the Blue Hose by 310 yards.

The Blue Hose beat their next opponent, Campbell, last year. I don’t know anything about Cumberland other than Georgia Tech beating a Cumberland, 222-0, but that was in 1916, and, presumably, the Phoenix have risen from the ashes of that. I’m familiar with Lebanon, Tennessee, having met a friend for dinner there on at least two occasions.

All else being equal, I’m guardedly optimistic about the Campbell and Cumberland games.

I wrote a free-lance story on The Citadel’s unexpected visit, and because of the professionalism that journalism requires, I enjoyed no frosty beverages until the story was safely written and my friends, Presbyterian football variety, commiserating the setback across the street.

Libations are marvelously useful in the aftermath of victory or defeat.

As I drove home, knowing that a stock car race from Richmond, and football games from Clemson, Columbia (Mo.), South Bend, and Los Angeles would soon be on at the same time, I hummed the theme from Green Acres.

Keep Manhattan / Just give me that countryside.

If you’d like me to mail you a signed copy of Life Gets Complicated, or any of my other novels, you can find my address and instructions at montedutton.com. (montedutton.com/blog/merchandise). Or, just drop me a line and you can pay through PayPal.

I’ve written seven novels and a collection of short stories. I’ve also written a number of books about sports, mostly about NASCAR. You can find most of them here.

The Kindle versions of my books, where available, can be found above. Links below are to print editions.

Lightning in a Bottle is the story of Barrie Jarman, the hope of stock car racing’s future. Barrie, a 18-year-old from Spartanburg, South Carolina, is both typical of his generation and a throwback to the sport’s glory days.

Life Gets Complicated follows Barrie Jarman as he moves up to FASCAR’s premier series. He and Angela Hughston face discrimination for their interracial love affair, and Barrie has to surmount unexpected obstacles that test his resolve.

Cowboys Come Home is a modern western. Two World War II heroes come home from the Pacific to Texas.

I’ve written a crime novel about the corrosive effects of patronage and the rise and fall of a powerful politician and his dysfunctional family, Forgive Us Our Trespasses.

I’ve written about what happens to a football coach when he loses everything, Crazy of Natural Causes. It’s a fable of life’s absurdity.

I’ve written a tale of the Sixties in the South, centered on school integration and a high school football team, The Intangibles.

I’ve written a rollicking yarn about the feds trying to track down and manipulate a national hero who just happens to be a pot-smoking songwriter, The Audacity of Dope.

I’ve written a collection of 11 short stories, all derived from songs I wrote, Longer Songs.

Signed copies of Lightning in a Bottle are on sale at Emma Jane’s (see ad above). Signed copies of all my fiction are also on sale at L&L Office Supply in uptown Clinton, South Carolina.

Follow me on Twitter @montedutton, @hmdutton (about writing), and/or @wastedpilgrim (more opinionated and irreverent). I’m on Facebook (Monte.Dutton), Instagram (TUG50), and Google-Plus (MonteDuttonWriter).

Write me at hutdut@duttonm@bellsouth.net or “message” me through social media.