Clinton, South Carolina, Wednesday, December 23, 2020, 11:56 a.m.

This morning I went through the drive-through and ordered two biscuits and an order of hash rounds. I drove around, and handed the lady my debit card.

She said a sign said they weren’t accepting anything but cash in the drive-through, but I could come inside and pay with my debit card.

I looked in my wallet. Two bucks currently resided there.

I wanted to ask “how could this be?” How could I use the debit card inside but not outside?

I told her to keep her old biscuits. It was a consequence of principle and me being unwashed and wearing bedroom slippers.

A few weeks ago, they were accepting cards only but not cash. This was not Joe’s Biscuits (Open When We Feel Like It). This was a chain of some modest renown, with locations in every town with a traffic light.

Times are rough and also complicated. Not too long ago, I ordered chicken from a chicken place that told me it was out of chicken. I said no problem, just give me back my money from the first window.
How could this be? It was the noted philosopher Roger Miller who once wrote “chicken ain’t good ’less it’s lickin’ good fried.” He also pointed out to the world that you can’t roller-skate in a buffalo herd. He didn’t care if he “do die, do die, do die, do die” and sure enough, he did die.

After all, as The Outlaw Josey Wales once said, “Dyin’ ain’t much of a livin’, boy.”

We hold these truths to be self-evident, but we’ve got no idea what to take to a drive-through.

Last night I dreamed I was in a car driving recklessly with A.J. Foyt, who didn’t know how to get to Indianapolis Motor Speedway. This may have been a foretelling of my subsequent aggravations at the drive-through.

How could this be?

I think there’s a bowl game on TV today. As best I remember, Kickapoo State Teachers College is playing Chickapoo Normal in the Winnie the Pooh Bowl at the famed Hundred Acres Woods.

Take a look at my website, Laurens County Sports. It’s better now that Laurens County has actual sports again.

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If you yearn for my writing in larger doses, I’ve written quite a few books. Most are available here.

Lightning in a Bottle, the first of my two motorsports novels, is now available in audio (Audible, Amazon, iTunes) with the extraordinary narration of Jay Harper.

My eighth novel, a political crime thriller, is called Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell. It’s right up to date with the current political landscape in the country.