Clinton, South Carolina, Thursday, February 11, 2021, 12:37 p.m.

“Woke up this morning.” The first line of countless blues songs and the beginning of at least two of my country ditties:

First thing that I saw when I ,woke up this morning was bad news on the TV I left on the night before …

… and …

Woke up this morning feeling kinda bad / It must be the worst hangover I ever had …

Most of the time, I wake up thinking deep thoughts. My job keeps me up writing late at night, but that’s all deadlines and commitments. I do my best work in the morning, pondering the universe and sipping coffee.

So here I am. It’s early afternoon and I spent the morning running errands and eating breakfast at Steamers, the official cafe of me. I made more observations. Had more thoughts. Even wrote myself a couple notes on a napkin. Old school.

So here I am. Second reference for emphasis.

I thought about the spot Republicans are in during the impeachment trial.

Well, sure, Trump sicced a mob on his own vice president, and, yeah, they erected a gallows outside and chanted they would hang him, but it wasn’t actually a functioning gallows. According to Dr. Barnwell Calhoun Hildebrand of the American Gallows Institute, it clearly was not up to code.

Their lives were threatened, but they didn’t actually die. The choice comes down to what is right versus what will keep them from being “primaried” (a recent diabolical example of turning every possible word into a verb).

Hahahahahahahaha.

My only regret is that I must watch all this sober. Okay, two regrets. I regret that I care.

It’s starting to rain. It must be going to rain hard because Presbyterian College has already postponed one sporting event on Friday and another on Saturday.

Mind you, Presbyterian is a college, just like Daniel Boone was a man, such a big man.

I must watch the weather. That’s the way it’s done on TV. Day traders ponder milk and bread futures.

I don’t have “streaming” in the bedroom. That means I fall asleep with a lot of Randolph Scott movies on and never know how they end.

Oh, yeah, did I mention my stimulus check finally came? Last time I donated it. To borrow from Original Bush, I’m not sure that would be prudent at this time. I’m considering the matter, though.

By the way, remember when everyone ridiculed Bill Clinton asking for the meaning of “is”? Two days ago I watched Il Duce’s crack defense team stake its case on the meaning of “the.” It’s getting tough to ridicule because “is” and “the” are on opposite sides. It’s whataboutistry’s greatest achievement.

I am the author of eight novels and a number of other non-fiction books, all of which can be found at Amazon.com.

My songwriting hobby can be examined on my YouTube page.

My writing can be found at my sports website, LaurensCountySports.com. I’m on Twitter (@hmdutton) and Facebook (Monte.Dutton).