By MONTE DUTTON

Carolina and Carolina – take your choice – were playing football on national television Saturday night, and the chain crew was late for the second half.

I’ve never seen a chain crew late for the second half. I’ve seen “lightning in the area” delay the start of a game by two hours without a drop of rain ever falling. I’ve been on a field when the second-half kicked sailed up into the air, and the lights went out.

I’m sure there was some sort of time-schedule misread or arithmetical error, but I bet, even if that crew is made up of upright, God-fearing, family men, at least one of them made an untoward remark.

They’re chitchatting and getting hydrated in a room under the stands.

“Well, Fred, I’m sure Chad is going to do well at Calamari State. …Well, I reckon we better get back out there.”

“Ah, relax, Harvey, we still got 10 minutes by my watch. Oh, wait, it stopped …”

“Hey, guys, the second half is starting!”

“Oh, oh, no it ain’t. Not till we get back out there.”

“Oh, [insert swear of choice]!”

Meanwhile, back at the ranch …

The second Laurens County team to win a game is Laurens Academy, which slipped past Newberry Academy, 58-0.

Eight-man football reminds me of soccer with huddles. It’s wide-open. Each week I expect the score to be 55-21, but I don’t know which team will have which.

Jolly Doolittle’s first win at the Crusaders’ helm was a stomp-down good’un. A jolly good show for the LA principality.

Garrett Murphy rushed for 116 yards for a team that netted 353. Caleb Hardy, Buddy Baker and Elijah Hornberger rushed for scores. Ethan Collins completed 13/16 passes for 163 yards, lofting touchdowns into the hands of Murphy and Baker.

Oakbrook Prep (2-0) visits Todd Kirk Field Friday night. The teams have a common opponent. The Knights only defeated Newberry Academy, 32-16.

It’s Thornwell’s first varsity season in 16 years, but there’s nothing to the rumor that they’re the same players. Seriously, the Saints don’t even have a senior class.

They have revitalized the fortunes of Calhoun Falls. Thornwell has not only played the Blue Flashes twice but played them twice on the road. It got worse as Calhoun Falls won 52-6 as an encore to 42-13. Prior to its last two games, the Flashes had lost 29 straight games dating back to Aug. 30, 2019.

Thornwell’s Kaevon Washington rushed for 161 yards in the former but just 13 in the latter.

The Saints scored on a 65-yard catch by Parker Workman of Washington’s pass. Thornwell (0-2) had only 81 total yards.

A trip to McCormick (0-3) is next for Charlie Washington’s fledglings.

Aiken (0-3) visits Clinton (3-0) at Wilder Stadium on Friday night. The Green Hornets have been outscored, 148-54, in losses to a pair of Georgia teams, Lakeside and Appling County, and former Red Devil coach Andrew Webb’s Strom Thurmond Rebels.

A Class 4A school, Aiken was 1-10 last year, including a 49-13 setback at the hands of the Red Devils.

The long, hard road continues for Laurens (0-3) as Daryl Smith’s squad travels to play Chapman in Inman.

Actually, it begins. The Raiders’ first three games were at K.C. Hanna Stadium. Laurens has played nothing but powerhouses: Hillcrest (3-0), Clinton and Belton-Honea Path (2-0).

It doesn’t get much better this week. Chapman (2-1), like Clinton and BHP a Class 3A school, has already defeated 5A Byrnes (17-14) and Woodruff (57-34). Boiling Springs (5A, 2-1) felled the Panthers, 29-7, last week.

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I’m hosting another Open Mic on Wednesday, 8 p.m., at Fiesta Grande Mexican Restaurant (see the ad above). Bring your instrument and some friends to cheer you on. Eat some good food, then join us for some music.