By MONTE DUTTON

The University of Saint Thomas is in Saint Paul. Charleston Southern University is in North Charleston. A student attends the University of North Carolina Charlotte, but an athlete plays for Charlotte alone, as is true of the University of Tennessee Chattanooga. The University of Albany can’t be just Albany, though. It has to be UAlbany, which lost to South Dakota State, 59-0, on Friday night in the FCS semifinals.

Served ‘em right.

The University of Alabama that is located in Birmingham insists on being UAB, which could be the University of Arkansas Bugtussle. The aforementioned Chattanooga calls its teams Mocs, which used to be short for Moccasins, which used to be Indigenous Americans, nee Indians, until that became embarrassing in the halls of academe.

They could have remained Moccasins and become snakes, but instead, they became birds. Mocking birds. Still Mocs, different meaning. One I never imagined until I watched a fellow dressed in a bird outfit cheering for Chattanooga and wondered why.

The local college has recently begun referring to itself as Presby. I don’t like typing out Presbyterian over and over, either, but come on.

Little things, like big things, are ridiculous.

Everyone has to have a nation. Red Sox Nation. Saints Nation. [Thornwell] Saints Nation.

Many must have a shortened, nonsensical nickname. Dins. Dores. Noles. Nats. Phins. It matches the general nonsense.

Sometimes I watch sporting events in a trance, counting on my fingers the times announcers turn to the language’s most overused word, “utilize,” or the number of times Troy Aikman describes something as “nice” or “outstanding.” I’ve been known to count “uhs” and “you knows,” too, sometimes in recordings of my own questions.

This is an illustration of how writers think differently. Last weekend I heard Gary Danielson refer to “a shoelace tackle,” and since it is commonly described as a “shoestring tackle” (or catch), I had a debate in my head over which was the better cliche. I concluded that “shoestring” was.

Eventually, I started paying attention to the game again.

I’m thankful for your support, whether by advertising, contributing or reading.

Thanks so much for the recent contributions. I’m aware that folks appreciate what I do.

I used to list an address to send a check (DHK Sports, P.O. Box 768, Clinton, S.C. 29325). I finally got it through my thick head that not that many people write checks nowadays. For example, me. A more convenient means might be sending a reasonable contribution to DHK Sports on Venmo.

Support the advertisers, and help keep the site – the game stories, the blogs, the photos – alive by making, if you choose, a monthly donation via Patreon. The Laurens County site is here. The Furman site is here.

Another way I can make a little is if you purchase my books at MonteDutton.net. They’re quite entertaining in spite of the fellow who wrote them. Two of my novels, Cowboys Come Home and Lightning in a Bottle, are available in audio versions. The latest, The Latter Days, is about baseball.

Photo galleries are posted on Instagram @furmanatt and @laurenscountysports.