By MONTE DUTTON

In case you haven’t noticed, I like sports.

I’m also partial to electricity, heating and air conditioning, home internet and hot showers.

Wednesday has come and gone, and Laurens isn’t playing. Another Friday is on the way, and Clinton isn’t playing. If the S.C. High School League doesn’t extend the regular season – and surely it will, since it’s scholastic FEMA – Clinton could play on Monday because, in a paraphrase of Patrick Henry, I know not what course others may take, but as for me, give me Liberty or give me the NFL in prime time alone.

At some point this year, Clinton is going to fight for Liberty. Justice for all comes later.

Nothing’s hotter than Red Devils versus Red Devils for all the molten marbles.

Presbyterian is playing at regularly scheduled San Diego, Calif., unless, of course, there is an earthquake or a wildfire. The Blue Hose are actually there on purpose. “Join the Blue Hose and see America! All paid for with nonexistent scholarships!”

Surely storm-ravaged Tallahassee can accommodate Clemson. Storm-ravaged Clemson could host Stanford.

Wofford is playing Western Carolina on Saturday sans spectators. They’re allowing them down on the still stable Atlantic, where Furman visits The Citadel.

Helene was a horror, and its effects remain debilitating, but none of its indignities surprised me as much as the fellow who walked up to me Thursday morning at Bojangles, where I was using the wi-fi to crank out this and other notes of disinterest.

A man, probably about my age, stopped on his way out and said, “Excuse me, sir, but can I ask you a question?”

“Obviously,” said I. That small attempt at humor rolled right past his head.

“What does that cap you’re wearing stand for?”

“Uh, sir, CHS stands for Clinton High School.”

“That makes sense,” he said.

“Sir, where are you from?”

“I live over in Cross Hill,” he said.

“Uh, kids from Cross Hill go to Clinton High School,” I said, informative as always.

“Well, I’ve never had kids,” he said and walked out. I almost told him the lake over there was Greenwood, just to make sure he knew.

This story is obviously true. If I made it up, no one would believe me.

Presbyterian College released its men’s basketball schedule on Monday, listing road tests at South Carolina, North Carolina State, Miami and Charlotte, among others.

The PC women’s team released only its Big South Conference schedule.

Head coach Quinton Ferrell stated, “… We wanted to challenge our group in the non-conference, so we targeted programs with a track record of success as well as recent success. We feel like this schedule will ultimately prepare us for consistent success in Big South play on a night-to-night basis and have us ready for the Big South Tournament in March.”

In five seasons Ferrell, a former PC player, has a record 48-103 (.318). Last season the Blue Hose finished 14-19.

PC begins the season on the road at Charlotte on Nov. 4. The game will be part of a doubleheader as the Presbyterian women’s basketball team also opens its season at Charlotte.

The Blue Hose welcome Carolina Christian College to the Templeton Center for their home opener on Nov. 6.

The season culminates with the Big South Conference Tournament held March 5-9 at Freedom Hall Civic Center in Johnson City, Tenn.

Take a look at the full men’s schedule here and the women’s conference schedule here.

With nine teams in the Big South Conference, the league will play a true round-robin league schedule with every team playing each other home and away.

PC basketball is lit, mon. It’s been faded.

The Dark Ages have ended at Templeton Center, which has been likened to Carlsbad Caverns in recent years. When the Blue Hose wear their gray uniforms at home, I’m never quite sure it’s not white faded by the lights.

I can’t wait for basketball season to start. It’ll be something to see. I won’t think, why in hell did I wear sunglasses in here?

It’s enough to make a fella want to take photos again.

Wellpilgrim.com surpassed the 100,000 mark in page views recently and has already exceeded the numbers of the entire 2023 year. At least one story had been posted for 59 consecutive days. … until Helene arrived.

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Read my novel of small-town crime and corruption, Forgive Us Our Trespasses. Download it for $3.99 here, or order it in paperback for $16.95.

Photo galleries are posted on Instagram @furmanatt and @laurenscountysports.

Thanks for putting up with me.