By MONTE DUTTON

Many things in life are predictable.

When a major golf tournament is on TV, and coverage shifts to a player who is out of contention, the shot is going in.

They don’t have to mention all the “possible side effects” of prescription drugs. It’s obvious from the commercials that almost all of them lead to ice cream, kayaking, pickleball, musicianship and the acquisition of a 1965 Ford Mustang.

It hardly ever drizzles in movies.

Many politicians begin almost every sentence with “So …” (“So, the governor says he wants to slow down inflation, right?”) Sports analysts are more likely to begin with “Yeah …” (“Yeah, Bob, I was talking to Clyde Torkelson, and he thinks …”).

If I had a job in the automobile industry, it would bother me that anyone else can get “employee pricing.”

It also bothers me when someone wants me to contribute to a charity for his or her birthday … unless that person is someone I would normally give a present. I’ll make a charitable donation to something I consider important, not because someone I barely know wants me to give to the Apple Cider Foundation.

I like college basketball all season long. I just like professional baskerball during the playoffs.

I’m glad Spartanburg has a minor-league baseball team, but I hate the name Hub City Spartanburgers. It’s too much. I’m not wild about Greenville Drive, either. It’s too little. I was watching the Big South baseball tournament on TV from the park of the High Point Rockers. That I like.

I wish I knew what became of my Montgomery Biscuits tee shirt.

In almost every sport, the best teams have uniforms that don’t change much.

Furman plays basketball at Timmons Arena. Presbyterian, however, plays at The Templeton Center. NASCAR races at Daytona International Speedway, but this week’s race is at The Charlotte Motor Speedway. It’s possible that I dislike the current national champion in football solely because of that pretentious insistence on The Ohio State University.

I’ve watched a lot of football games, a lot of basketball games and a lot of baseball games, and I can’t help but conclude that the Southeastern Conference is the best in everything. And mind you, I’ve seen the Gamecocks play baseball this year.

That being noted, Clemson would be making a mistake to leave the ACC. The Tigers can dominate the ACC. It will never dominate the SEC. You want to be in the best conference, or you want to win? The problem with the SEC is there isn’t enough glory to go around.

Meanwhile, NASCAR spent the last decade trying its best to run many of the sport’s great tracks out of business and is spending the current decade bringing them all back. They only lost half their fan base in this pursuit of major markets. Ask most fans during the boom years what they loved about the sport, and the common answer was “it’s like other sports used to be.” They then proceeded to make the same mistakes.

As Lincoln said, you can fool some of the people all of the time, and all of the people some of the time, but you can’t fool all of the people all of the time. NASCAR spent 20 years trying to kill the goose that laid the golden egg. She was a tough old bird, but eventually they got her. I still watch a good bit of it on TV, but I don’t like it as much. It became a casualty of its own success.

Ever since I got sick, had surgery and spent a month in the hospital, I’ve had distinct dreams.

They’re usually not bad dreams.

Most mornings I awaken, having to settle myself down.

Relax. I’m not late for football practice. I’m 67 years old.

Relax. My father’s been dead for many years.

Relax. I haven’t been to a race track in 10 years.

I’ve written lots of books. The early ones were non-fiction. The recent ones are novels. I want to write more. Most are available on Amazon.