By MONTE DUTTON

Monday had a weird morning.

About two weeks ago, a thunderstorm knocked out the electricity for a while, and later that night when I went to bed, I discovered that my CPAP went out. For the time being, I went out and bought some Breathe Rite bandages and did some on-line research for a better alternative.

I sleep all right, but there’s a time every day when I nod off to sleep in my chair. Most mornings I lie in bed for about two hours, usually about 5 to 7, and try to go back to sleep. I end up giving up and getting up. I fix a cup of coffee and watch TV for a while just to see what Trump did since last night.

This morning was the same, but after nature called, I thought I might try to sleep one more time.

It was dark. As I crawled back into bed, it looked as if the lights on my CPAP were on. I thought it might be just a reflection from the clock or something, but I put my mask on, and amazingly, the machine whirred back to life. I was able to sleep for a while.

All that didn’t prevent me from nodding off in front of the TV later. I had a really distinct dream in which a friendly man rode up the driveway on a red tractor and started working on the house. When I awakened, I was surprised to see that there was no bed, made up with pink sheets, sitting in the middle of the living room. It took me a minute or so to come to grips with just how ridiculous this notion was.

All-star games are not what they once were. Baseball, though, has always had the best one. It’s not going to be decided by Pete Rose bowling over Ray Fosse at the plate. That was in 1970.

Baseball’s Mid-Summer Classic is now the only one that can be taken seriously. It almost looks like a real game.

In the NBA, the defensive players look like bullfighters. I’m assuming the WNBA has a game, though I’ve never watched it. I’m guessing the NHL puts on a decent game.

And my gosh. The NFL’s Pro Bowl would be just as exciting if they actually bowled. It’s a damn game of touch. Anybody who watches it is a bigger fan than I.

NASCAR’s two all-star races are legit, but I’m exempting them on a technicality. They’re not games. They’re races.

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