By MONTE DUTTON

I have become obsessed with how bad journalism has become. It’s become a hobby to read Internet stories with lurid headlines if only to see what nothing burgers they are.

This morning I saw a headline on “NASCAR’s deadliest tracks.” Truth be known, there aren’t any. I don’t think a driver has been killed since 2001. Dangerous track? Okay.

Another one I saw: “10 actors who died after their final film.” Most actors who die died after their final film. Just Saturday night I watched Humphrey Bogart’s final film, “The Harder They Fall.” It was a fine performance. Bogey was dying of cancer.

I look forward to “10 actors who died after eating breakfast.”

So much is already known by anyone who watched any event on television. I imagine some guy in an apartment watching three sporting events on TV and cranking out alleged stories based on what was said during the telecasts. This strikes me as a likely product of artificial intelligence. There certainly isn’t much human intelligence involved.

People must read them. My guess is that most are disappointed.

Among the items currently piled up on my home page:

“McDonald’s 8 dipping sauces, ranked worst to first”

I’m guessing this might have something to do with what flavor one already likes. Mine was ranked fourth. These rankings may have something to do with the taste buds of whoever wrote it. This is why most like their mothers‘ cooking. The palate is adaptable, which is why most folks don’t enjoy their first beer.

“Two black holes merged in outer space and created something colossal”

You’ll have colossal stuff in outer space. This particular merger was billions of light-years away, which means they happened billions of years ago. It’s not exactly breaking news. In billions of years, it may affect earth.

“Grand Canyon mid-air collision – 128 lives lost”

This was in 1956. I watched the video out of historical interest, once I realized it didn’t happen … during my lifetime.

“Thirteen mistakes that investors with $1 million make – and how to avoid them”

I didn’t have much interest in that one.

More timely were rankings of Captain Kirk’s nemeses on Star Trek, hot dogs to avoid, fast-food milk-shakes, convenience-store coffee and other matters of opinion.

I suppose that by definition a market exists for such information.

It’s no wonder folks don’t read much. There isn’t much there.

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