By MONTE DUTTON

Verbers are taking over. It’s been going on for years. What is a verber? It’s a person who turns everything into a verb. They’re maniacal.

I’m not writing a story. I’m laptopping. Several times a week, I story the games. I like to guitar old country songs. On Friday, I club sandwiched at Steamers. I spent half Saturday afternoon laundromatting. Then I groceried for a while. One basketball team is adept at turnovering another.

Late in Gannon’s victory over Lander, an announcer referred to the Golden Knights’ “up-tempo, chaotic, disciplined style.” I don’t think all those terms are possible in one team. The Division II championship game was pretty simple: Lander broke the press reasonably well but couldn’t hit threes or get to the rim. Gannon could do all those things.

When a team from Greenwood, S.C., plays one from Erie, Pa., there’s no telling how they will match up. It’s hard enough with Tucson, Ariz., versus Ann Arbor, Mich.

Two teams from South Carolina played for national championships on Sunday, and both got crushed.

I wonder if pirates ever really said “shiver me timbers” and, if so, why?

TV and social media affect everything in sports. The culture of the NBA is the culture of a game at the Y. Players didn’t used to respond to a missed free throw by congratulating the guy (or gal) who missed it. I’m satisfied it started on TV.

This year’s rage is towels on the head during post-game interviews.

Reese’s announced it’s going to go back to using full-fledged, certifiable chocolate in its Cups after the grandson of its founder complained about it. I guess chocolate is like cheese. Reese’s was using “chocolate food.”

I am mystified about why everything is being fortified by protein. I wasn’t aware of hamburgler-gobbling Americans facing a protein deficiency. Are there lots of vegetarians (or vegans) out there I don’t know about? Breakfast cereal is not meant to be a source of protein. That’s for breakfast sausage, bacon and ham. Protein shakes should be a contradiction in terms.

Many Americans apparently feed their pets better than their children.

When a basketball coach refers to a player as “a dog” and President Trump uses the same term, they mean completely opposite things.

Perhaps I should give up writing and take up inventing names for prescription drugs. I have no idea what most of them do. Most of the people in the commercials play pickleball, perform music and drive 1965 Mustangs.

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It means a lot to me that you enjoy what I write.

Most of my books are available at Amazon. Two of my novels, Cowboys Come Home and Lightning in a Bottle, are available in audio versions.