Clinton, South Carolina, Thursday, September 13, 2018, 1:55 p.m. Florence is coming to town. In fact, it looks like it’s going through Florence (the city) on the way. Not Florence Nightingale. Not Aunt Florence. They are both no longer with us. Hurricane Florence is very much alive, but I hope it’s on its deathbed by …
Category: Humor
Bumping Along in a Crazy World
Clinton, South Carolina, Thursday, September 6, 2018, 1:15 p.m. Not much of me has been literary in recent days. Oh, there has been beauty in my world. The Red Sox’ seven-run eighth-inning rally and Brandon Phillips’ ninth-inning home run against the Braves was, as Dennis Eckersley is fond of saying on TV, “a beautiful thing.” …
Don’t Even Try to Put All This Together
Clinton, South Carolina, Thursday, August 23, 2018, 10:11 a.m. Two days ago, I ate at KFC for the first time since the horrible commercials started. I bought a three-piece, Original Recipe, Big Box Meal. It was all dark meat. I like white meat. I deserved that. Why do I hold silly commercials against restaurants where …
Folks Are So Mad They Could Just Spit
Clinton, South Carolina, Sunday, August 5, 2018, 10:22 a.m. People seem habitually, chronically and incurably mad at one another. They are divided into warring camps. My theory is that everything is slowly becoming a sport. My team is made up of incredibly gifted student-athletes who will follow up a national championship by huddling up to …
A Perpetual Edge Inevitably Dulls
Clinton, South Carolina, Tuesday, July 10, 2018, 10:27 a.m. The world is in a haze, and it has nothing to do with the West being in flames. The West is always in flames. It’s the figurative and literal reason for the haze. I have become inured to wildfires. I’m inured to Russian interference, cops shooting …
The Word Around Here
Clinton, South Carolina, Tuesday, July 3, 2018, 8:56 a.m. When I was growing up, many local businesses closed on Wednesdays. That gradually diminished over time – for a long time, some still closed on Wednesdays at noon – but most locally owned businesses are closed for at least a day each week. Some restaurants that …
When the Roll Is Called in Homeroom, I’ll Be There
Clinton, South Carolina, Saturday, June 30, 2018, 4:02 p.m. I’ve been working my ass off. No, that’s not right. I’ve been wearing my ass out. Mainly I’ve been sitting down. I’m in the process of learning how to manage the county website. It’s not the official county website. It’s a news site, or two that …
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Ain’t No Need to Sit and Wonder Why
Clinton, South Carolina, Wednesday, June 6, 2018, 8:07 p.m. I haven’t had a day like this since my daddy died. They happened all the time when I was a kid, and he was in his natural prime. Daddy would ask me to help him with a couple things, say it wouldn’t take 30 minutes, and …
As the Thunder Rolled and the Lightning Struck
Clinton, South Carolina, Saturday, June 2, 2018, 11:02 a.m. I thought I had plenty of time to get to Clinton High School’s graduation ceremonies. I got my hair cut, and I didn’t make myself an appointment online, and the lady said it would probably be at least a 40-minute wait. Haircuts are spur-of-the-moment decisions for …
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It’s Only Words, and Words Are All I Have …
Clinton, South Carolina, Tuesday, April 25, 2018, 10:01 a.m. I drove past a message board that read: FREE BLOOD PRESSURE! If your blood is running low, they’ll pump it right up. A government office has a sticker in the window of the front door. NO CONCEALABLE WEAPONS Forget about hiding a derringer in your boot, …
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Nightrider's Lament 