Clinton, South Carolina, Tuesday, May 14, 2019, 8:44 p.m. If you go visit a drive-through, and the bill is $10.68, and you hand the cute girl in the window $21, absolutely anything can then happen. Just an observation. I own two pickups, a 1995 Ford F-150 and a 2018 Chevy Colorado Z-71. They are as …
Category: Humor
I Don’t Know, but I’ve Heard Say, that Every Little Dog Has His Day
Clinton, South Carolina, Thursday, May 2, 2019, 8:32 a.m. Every dog has his day. Even the athletes with the most modest of skills – me, for instance, back in the distance when I tried to be one – have the occasional moment of glory. The proudest of my memories involve the accomplishments of teams for …
Continue reading I Don’t Know, but I’ve Heard Say, that Every Little Dog Has His Day
A Long Line of Pistols and Sons of Guns
Clinton, South Carolina, Tuesday, April 16, 2019, 11:45 a.m. When my mother told me Notre Dame was burning, at first I thought she meant the football stadium. I switched to a news channel. Pete Buttigieg was talking. He’s the mayor of South Bend. It all made sense. Not. I’ve never been to Paris, but I’ve …
Another Birthday in the Life
Clinton, South Carolina, Tuesday, April 9, 2019, 12:07 p.m. Another year has come and gone. Fate chose mine to pass on the eighth day of April, which left me a week off a fool from the get-go. (The above was quite possibly the first time I have ever typed the word “get-go” without it being …
What Might Have Been
Clinton, South Carolina, Saturday, March 2, 2019, 3:13 p.m. On Friday, I was in a prospective episode of Seinfeld. The basic premise of the long-running show, now commonly syndicated, is “one thing leads to another in the darndest ways.” Such as, what if Cosmo Kramer hit a golf ball that landed in the blowhole of …
Home at the Waffle House
Clinton, South Carolina, Saturday, February 16, 2019, 12:14 p.m. The Waffle House was hopping this morning. I could barely hear Olivia Newton-John over the din. You’re the one that I want, you’re the one that I want, uh, uh, uh-uhhhh … Keith and Robert Wooten – for some reason, everybody called Robert “Dan” in high …
For Old Times’ Sake
Clinton, South Carolina, Saturday, January 26, 2019, 12:01 p.m. I was tooling around Spartanburg, driving a hot rod that looked like about a ’57 Thunderbird. It was two-tone red and white. I stopped at a drive-in for two hot dogs and a chocolate shake. I drove over to the Piedmont Interstate Fairgrounds and took a …
‘Happy Thanksgiving from the Fam-uhhhh-leeeeee’
Clinton, South Carolina, Friday, November 23, 2018, 8:46 a.m. When Ray Phillips was a child, he realized that Betty Dutton’s oyster dressing was a national treasure, not to mention a rare and precious thing. Ray is my nephew. Betty is my mother and his grandmother. Ginger Sacarrere is his mother and my sister. For two …
Continue reading ‘Happy Thanksgiving from the Fam-uhhhh-leeeeee’
How the Checkered Flag Fell at the Beauty Pageant
Clinton, South Carolina, Sunday, November 18, 11:57 a.m. New assignments abound. For twenty years, most of my time was spent writing about race cars. I started writing books. I taught myself to play guitar and found I had “a handy knack for rhyming,” which led to songs. I started writing novels. I never wrote about …
Continue reading How the Checkered Flag Fell at the Beauty Pageant
‘Lies, Damned Lies and Statistics’
Clinton, South Carolina, Sunday, September 23, 2018, 10:45 a.m. I fell asleep with the TV on last night, which is not unusual, and it awakened me this morning, when I wanted to sleep longer, because, in a semi-conscious state, I got irritated. Mark Twain said, “There are three kinds of lies: lies, damned lies and …
Nightrider's Lament 