By MONTE DUTTON (Furman photo) https://dunesproperties.com/agent/mark-mitchell/ It was good to be back at Furman on Monday. It’ll be great to be there on Saturday when The Citadel comes to town. I suppose the annual battles between South Carolina’s Athens and Sparta don’t seem as frantic as they once did. The addition to the Southern Conference …
Category: Humor
A matter of excessive timing
By MONTE DUTTON Good times were back at Wilder Stadium. (Monte Dutton photos) https://www.facebook.com/UpstateInsuranceConsultants On Friday night, I showed up at Wilder Stadium before any of the Clinton High School players. Keith Richardson and my paternal grandmother unwittingly made me ridiculously punctual. In an age in which most of my acquaintances are fashionably late, I …
From a jack to a king
By MONTE DUTTON Sometimes it can go either way. (Furman photos) https://dunesproperties.com/agent/mark-mitchell/ When Presbyterian upset Wofford, 23-20, I thought, thank God, I saw it. When South Aiken upset Clinton, 41-30, I thought, thank God, I didn’t. In the latter case, I was listening to most of it after serving as one of the judges in …
A latter-days version of playin’ hurt
By MONTE DUTTON Furman and Travis Blackshear (1) played much better than I felt. (Monte Dutton photos) https://dunesproperties.com/agent/mark-mitchell/ Friday night at Wilder Stadium was a game-time decision. Fortunately, I was good to go. Back-to-back night games are tough on a body, particularly one that got bowled over at Paladin Stadium on Thursday night. I saw …
What to do when it rains
By MONTE DUTTON (Pixabay) The last time I felt like this in June, I was in Seattle. The entire past week has been spent in days which my old man used to say “ain’t good for nothin’ ‘cept sleeping.” The more specific description of weather trends is global “weirding,” not “warming.” Warming is just a …
‘Go do that voodoo that you do so well’
By MONTE DUTTON (Pixabay photo) Rules of the sportswritin’ road: If a coach tells you he doesn’t know what his team’s record is, it ain’t good. The truth is seldom more evident than when being vehemently denied. If a ball is placed between two yard-lines, the scoreboard operator will estimate the farther line for the …
The sport of kings
(Pixabay photo) On Saturday, when I awakened, King Charles III was getting his crown. While writing with the TV on, I half-watched the horse races leading up to the Kentucky Derby and then the derby itself. They were a perfect pair. The Coronation and the Derby were British and American versions of Rich People Looking …
Drive-Through Blues
Clinton, South Carolina, Wednesday, December 23, 2020, 11:56 a.m. This morning I went through the drive-through and ordered two biscuits and an order of hash rounds. I drove around, and handed the lady my debit card. She said a sign said they weren’t accepting anything but cash in the drive-through, but I could come inside …
A Strange Significance
Clinton, South Carolina, Wednesday, August 19, 2020, 1:05 p.m. The coronavirus blurs the lines between major and minor accomplishments. On Monday night, I finished the 22nd chapter of a novel. I’m closing in on the completion of the rough draft, but it’s not quite as rough because I’ve done a lot of retracing my steps …
Satire at Sunset
Clinton, South Carolina, Saturday, April 18, 2020, 8:37 a.m. Back when I traveled most of the country, writing about race cars that went ’round and ’round and the mostly white men who drove them, my favorite device was not a shock absorber but its literary equivalent, satire. Once -- it was in Dover, Delaware, I …
Nightrider's Lament 