By MONTE DUTTON

In the aftermath of Helene hell – and as Milton the monster departs Florida as if it was Godzilla – is there anyone out there who still doesn’t believe in climate change?

It is almost always cheaper to fix a problem than it is to clean up a mess. We’ve already missed that deadline. As I once said, sitting on a motel-room bed watching a big football game, “Sometimes, when you do something that stupid, God turns on you.”

A Wednesday moment of clarity occurred while I was taking a break to allow my guitar to restore my alertness. Roger Miller was to my boyhood what John Prine became to my adulthood.

My favorite quote was from Bob Costas citing Vin Scully: “Statistics are used much like a drunk uses a lamppost: for support, not illumination.”

I’ve been avidly catching up with the popular form of baseball played at a higher level than high school and college.

A Mets haiku:

The amazing Mets / Most of the time, they’re awful / Then a miracle

On the one hand is the calmness of watching a good game without being, at the same time, a nervous wreck.

On the other is the sad recognition of former Red Sox still playing for winning teams. Mookie Betts plays with the Dodgers, Xander Bogaerts with the Padres, J.D. Martinez with the Mets, Kyle Schwarber with the Phillies and Chris Sale with the Braves. There are others.

Boston went 81-81. It’s hard to do.

Doug Holliday calls his 1,000^th game when Southside visits K.C. Hanna Stadium on Friday. This total includes games with the Raiders, Furman University, the Greenville Braves and Presbyterian College.

Southside (0-5) and Laurens (0-5) have never met. The Tigers have lost 16 games in a row. The Raiders have lost seven straight, dating back p a 23-13 victory over Wade Hampton late last season.

Roy Ravenell (8-29) is in his fourth season at the Greenville school, and it’s the Region 1-4A opener for both.

Running back Dereon Tate, a junior, has 270 yards and four touchdowns in 36 carries. Sophomore Javier Latimer averages 83 receiving yards, and senior Jaikub Brockman has completed half his passes.

This is Greg Porter’s 197^th game as a high-school head coach. Though 0-5 at LDHS, Porter is 121-75 overall.

Notably damning and germane to the Raiders’ struggles are a minus-7 turnover ratio and a 27-percent rate of third-down conversions. Kicker Brock Franklin is 3/4 in field goals and 2/2 in extra points.

WLBG hits the airwaves at 6:20.

Chesnee (2-3) has only played Clinton twice, in 2016 and 2017. The Red Devils won those games, 47-12 and 35-6, respectively, during Andrew Webb’s tenure at CHS.

Brett Chappell is in his first season with the Eagles, having headed the western North Carolina programs of East Henderson (East Flat Rock) and Pisgah (Canton) for a combined total of 19 years.

Corey Fountain is 44-18 in six years with the Red Devils and 102-28 overall.

Clinton’s pocket rocket, junior Javen Cook, is up to 683 yards rushing in five games. He is averaging 7.34 yards a carry and has scored eight touchdowns. The Red Devils’ top eight rushers are averaging more than four yards a carry.

Senior quarterback Tushawan Richardson is second in rushing (31-204) and nearly all passing (27/53, 390, 4 TD, 1 INT). Chris Boyd leads the receivers with 10 catches for 163 yards and a touchdown.

Coverage begins at 7 p.m. from Wilder Stadium, but not on WPCC, which has no phone or internet service. The game is to be streamed at meridith.com (Clinton High School vs. Chesnee High School).

Or, better yet, be there.

Laurens Academy won a Monday volleyball match, 3-0 (25-20, 25-18, 25-16), at home over Oakbrook Prep.

The school honored seniors Cadie Wilson, Maggie Collins and Olivia Suttles.

Wellpilgrim.com is back in my dingy living room, where there is electricity and wi-fi again. For now, I have closed my offices at Zaxby’s and Bojangles’, and I wish to acknowledge restaurants and, for one day, the public library, for keeping me minimally in business.

I hate to ask for help because there are so many more needy than I, but …

Support the advertisers. They are all fine people who support my efforts, not to mention those of the kids, coaches, parents and fans.

In the off chance you’d like to read my novels and other books, they’re available on Amazon and many prominent bookseller sites. You can read them on your phones and other devices for a modest cost. I make a bit more if you purchase the actual books, but what I mainly want is for folks to read them.

Read my NASCAR novels, Lightning in a Bottle and Life Gets Complicated, both concerning the irreverent adventures of Barrie Jarman. Download them for your devices, or order in paperback. Lightning in a Bottle is available in an audio version.

Photo galleries are posted on Instagram @furmanatt and @laurenscountysports., there haven’t been many to take.

Thanks for putting up with me.